The human race is just a chemical scum on a moderate-sized planet, orbiting...– Stephen Hawking, from an interview with Ken Campbell in 1995 (via aslanforpresident)
The Sounds - Painted By Numbers
Anonymous asked: You kind of look like Krys Perez.
Anonymous asked: Do you have any tattoos?
Mel: If you could, would you have a dick for a day?
Tess: Yes. But what if right before the clock struck midnight it was revealed to you that it was your father's dick . . . would you be upset?
Mel: I just want you to know just how implausible that is.
Tess: But would you be upset . . .
Mel: I hate this.
I was just offered by YouTube to generate revenue for posted videos What
Anonymous asked: You are so fucking cute and interesting. Please be single.
Anonymous asked: that was rude. i demand that you make another video to make up for that one!
You’re welcome America
Dear Everclear Vodka Tequila Shiner & Budweiser: Today I FEEL like a zombie. So thank you for that
Do you understand that this is cake?! Edible cake?! My roommate is so talented he deserves to be on Food Network
GIA: You saw a shirt for $97. You didn’t have the... →
First of all, this is shitty math. Second of all, you ungrateful cunt. You took $50 from both your parents and then for some reason gave them only a $1 back? What kind of ass backwards bullshit is this? Maybe if you were better at math you could get a job that would pay for the clothes yourself you iiiiiiiiiidiot.
Anonymous asked: Seriously, Colin is getting so fucking fat. He's probably 135 pounds now. That's like 50 pounds overweight for his height.
Any time I get a credit card offer or a bill or in today’s case, a random Best Buy gift card for some reward service I have with my debit card, I rip up the letter I received with my information on it in tiny little pieces and sometimes I’ll keep half of them to go into another trash can or I’ll throw a couple down the garbage disposal so that nobody could ever piece together who...
I’m full of shit. There were no numbers in that picture.
Good news/Bad news
I’m going on a business trip for my company next year BUT Instead of going to Tampa like I planned, I may need to go to Kentucky :( On the bright side, I’ll get to go to Cincinnati which could be fun but idk what goes on there. It makes more sense for me to go Tampa because the counterparts to what we do are located there but my division is growing so fast I need to leverage...
DID YOU KNOW?!
This October will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays. This hasn’t happened since the last time it happened and won’t happen again until it happens again in a couple months!!!!! Science
I'm a secret cunt.
I have the jerkiest, bitchiest thoughts all the time and then I’ll write out a post about how annoying I think children are from ages 6 to 17 or how I hate the elderly and then reread it and realize what terrible things I’m saying and then never post it. Just so you know
johnnycashed replied to your photo: Beoneables: barebackobama - Kevin clnhll -… wait is that all guys and gay guys idgi It’s ALL gay dudes.