May 2012
Hey I’ll be in Austin Tuesday for my birthday so who the fuck else will be there
Also: Houston (maybe)
Homo-Acting: The word "cisgender" is the most... →
paulhphillips:
First of all, it’s a redundant word. If the idiots who say this don’t know that, in Sociology, terms already exist to describe gender presentation, then they need to sit the fuck down. Second, how am I a bad person for presenting the gender associated with my natural sex?…
Why do we give any credence to the thoughts of One Million Moms? Their big accomplishment is getting pregnant and pushing something out of their vagina. If there are 300 million people in America and 1 in 10 are gay, we far outnumber you tacky jerks.
Kevin: He gave me a nasty hickey. And we weren't even being sexual, he did it quickly just to be an asshole.
Christopher: Is that why you were giggling at the top of your lungs and making extremely loud making out noises last night
Christopher: I just assumed y'all were fucking and it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway so it only tickled
1 tag
I stopped eating carbs until my birthday and I am VIOLENTLY CRAVING EVERYTHING DELICIOUS
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
Watchr0ucarnage:
dietonightliveforever-:
too-ticki:
Jujubee will read you to FILTH
ohmyfuckinggod Jujubee!
I need to marathon this show.
They edited out when he told Pandora it looks like he’s going through the change of life! Best read of the series. Reading is my FAVORITE minichallenge.
“From this new and intimate perspective, she learned a simple, obvious thing that...”
– Ian McEwan, Atonement (via adecentfellow)
influentialblogger:
at what age do you stop saying “abort it” when someone tells you they’re pregnant
By the way, I sprained my ankle. Ayyyyyy
Watchdysenterygay:
how to make delicious chocolate milkshake
Hahahaha
WatchMy life rn
3 tags
Watchpriscillablair:
themostsophisticatedwoman:
This type of love is contagious.
Oh my goodness, this just made my night. How precious are they?!
When I have children, I pray that they’re this precious.
Sobbing
I want kids so bad hahaha
April 2012
influentialblogger:
my neighbors are having a party and they have a moonbounce and there are little kids and one of them was walking through my yard and just i love little kids so much they’re like small, innocent people i can’t take it fdbsdhjafbdshjfbjhdsbfjhsdbflsbdfhasbf