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Hey I’ll be in Austin Tuesday for my birthday so who the fuck else will be there

Also: Houston (maybe)

Posted 1 day ago.
1 Notes  
Posted 1 day ago.
19150 Notes   ipretendahappiness-idontfeelSource   adecentfellowReblogged  
Homo-Acting: The word "cisgender" is the most unnecessary and exhausting thing on the Internet right now

paulhphillips:

First of all, it’s a redundant word. If the idiots who say this don’t know that, in Sociology, terms already exist to describe gender presentation, then they need to sit the fuck down. Second, how am I a bad person for presenting the gender associated with my natural sex?…

Posted 1 day ago.
78 Notes   paulhphillipsSource   homoactingReblogged  

Why do we give any credence to the thoughts of One Million Moms? Their big accomplishment is getting pregnant and pushing something out of their vagina. If there are 300 million people in America and 1 in 10 are gay, we far outnumber you tacky jerks.

Posted 1 day ago.
2 Notes  
Kevin: He gave me a nasty hickey. And we weren't even being sexual, he did it quickly just to be an asshole.
Christopher: Is that why you were giggling at the top of your lungs and making extremely loud making out noises last night
Christopher: I just assumed y'all were fucking and it was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway so it only tickled
Posted 1 day ago.
5 Notes  
+ Oh my GOD I nearly got an erection when he was in the pool last week

Oh my GOD I nearly got an erection when he was in the pool last week

Posted 2 days ago.
252 Notes   unafkennyartSource   chadleymacguffReblogged  
+ gingerhaze: Her mother’s daughter. 

gingerhaze:

Her mother’s daughter. 

Posted 4 days ago.
6837 Notes   gingerhazeSource   pikachuearsReblogged  
geminatrix: Me OH MY GOD YES

geminatrix:

Me

OH MY GOD YES

Posted 4 days ago.
27232 Notes   mtvskinssSource   chadleymacguffReblogged  
you can listen to any song… and the stick figure will dance to the beat. mind blown. 

you can listen to any song… and the stick figure will dance to the beat. mind blown. 

Posted 5 days ago. Tagged with Show all posts tagged with "I just tested this...".I just tested this..., .
145330 Notes   youjustinspiredmeSource   justaddtommyReblogged  
+
Posted 6 days ago.
1140 Notes   yellowasianSource   chadleymacguffReblogged  

I stopped eating carbs until my birthday and I am VIOLENTLY CRAVING EVERYTHING DELICIOUS

Posted 6 days ago.
0 Notes  

PUT IT IN ME

Posted 6 days ago.
1080 Notes   dylanadreamsSource   postbloggerReblogged  
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
Posted 6 days ago.
35822 Notes   asinmancySource   thecountrychadReblogged  
+
Posted 1 week ago.
1928 Notes   twitter.comSource   postbloggerReblogged  

adamchuck:

yes

I always think people would love to hear from me when I’m drunk.

Posted 1 week ago.
57598 Notes   damnthatswhackSource   odi-amoReblogged