When classmates talking about your class presentations and how imagining people naked doesn’t work for them and you say “hah, but then you’re just in front of everyone with a boner” but you don’t quite say it loud enough and you seem like a fucking creep because you’re mumbling about boners just audibly enough for them to hear
My tonsils have been swollen for four days and FUCK it’s so annoying ugh
Uhhhhhh I mean the only question is do I see Robyn in Seattle, San Fran, or both
I seriously cannot believe Porsha dragged that bitch Kenya across the floor! What I mean to say is, I cannot believe it didn’t happen SOONER Kenya you crazy megaphone using scepter holding fake boyfriend having twirl doing donkey booty claiming BITCH
I wish you guys knew the kind of crazy records your bank is now required to keep on you, there would be the largest of backlashes
I’ve been thinking about death and dying lately, and how I would really like to leave the world a better place than when I found it
It really scares me to think I’ll die before I get to do that
We were playing Cards Against Humanity and nobody knew what smegma was… So I referred to it as dick cheese and suddenly I’m public enemy number one! I mean come on in the game before Michelle played “sorry teacher I can’t turn my homework in because” “the Virginia tech massacre” and yet I am the one everyone is disappointed in?!